The two questions

When D was first born, there were two questions I was asked frequently:

Is he on a schedule yet?
... and ...
Is he sleeping through the night?

I know I'm sensitive and read into things too much sometimes (just ask my husband!), and I know these are default questions if you don't know what else to say, but I found, for me, that these questions made me uneasy or defensive at times.

For starters, when D was first born, my "schedule" consisted of figuring out just how on earth to be a mom. I was learning how to breastfeed (not as easy as it looks when you're just starting out!), how to read D's cues, how to function on interrupted sleep. My body was healing, my hormones were going bizerk. This new mom didn't know what a schedule was even supposed to look like! For me, the schedule question made me feel pressured to immediately put myself and D on the clock, on a strict timeframe. Let new moms be new moms: some will be ultra-scheduled, some will go with the flow. But all will need to figure out their own way forward with their unique baby. And that takes time.

Then for the sleep question. Fresh babies aren't supposed to sleep through the night. They have itty bitty tummies and their sleep patterns are different than an adult's. So expecting a little one to sleep all night long is setting oneself up for disappointment. In this case, a new mom who could really use some more sleep. She might think she's doing something wrong, or that her baby is abnormal because he or she woke up every two hours the night before.

So what might you ask instead? Here are a few suggestions:

What has surprised you the most about being a new mom?
How are you feeling?

And, most importantly: When can I drop off that casserole I made for you?

Etsy envy

I've been on an Etsy kick lately.

I love taking the opportunity to support small business and shop handmade. Sure, I could buy similar items for less at generic box stores. But I'd much rather see my money go to individuals rather than to corporations, and I also believe that it's important to celebrate and build up the creative folk around us. They help make the world a brighter, more beautiful place!

Mmm ... handmade soap! I'm currently awaiting
a shipment to arrive from this Etsy shop.

So while I love shopping Etsy, I must confess: I get some serious envy at the skill and creativity out there. I wish I could sew, crochet, knit. Oh, if only I could have a shop that sold beautiful stationery or delicious-smelling soaps!

The problem? While I think I'm fairly creative, I lack the drive to really excel at any one venture. I've dabbled in this, tried my hand out at that. Maybe I just haven't found that one thing that really grabs my attention. Maybe there is some creativity and skill that just hasn't yet been tapped.

Or maybe I'm just better at the shopping than the creating.

How about you? Do you ever have Etsy envy?

Wait ... I'm in this class?

Do you have a recurring dream?

I do. It's stressful.

In my dream, I'm either about to write an exam or am required to hand in a term's worth of homework. It's always for French class. And I've either not gone to the class at all, or have only attended the first one or two lectures.

The rest of the dream consists of the panicky feeling of realizing I'm doomed, and yet still not even attempting to at least do something. I never crack open my books. I don't bother searching for a classmate's notes.

I've awoken from the dream convinced that my degree is about to be snatched away, since I clearly would have failed the course and so wouldn't have enough credits.

I'm guessing this is my mind's way of dealing with lingering stress. Or maybe punishing me for not putting forward a greater effort in French class.

So do you have a recurring dream? If so, I hope it's far more pleasant than mine.

The games we play

Bedtime with D is getting, for the most part, easier as the days go by. Yet, in the past weeks I've noticed some common bedtime scenarios. At 3 a.m., said scenarios usually aren't very fun. But the next morning, when I share with Ben, I can better appreciate the humour of the moment. These weeks (months!) of interrupted sleep are fleeting, and so I am trying to see the bright side of the nighttime games we play.

The heavy-eye fake-out -- He's been nursed. He's been changed. He's supposed to be falling asleep as I rock away in the chair Ben made. His eyes get heavy. They close. Success! But when I peek at my sleeping cherub mere moments later, he is neglecting the sleep part. His eyes are open, looking around. Tricked you, Mom!

The epic diaper change -- At night, I change D's diaper mid-nursing so that he'll be, in theory, more easily lulled back to sleep. Sometimes he has other plans. Sometimes he likes to dirty his diaper three times in thirty minutes. It's good fun.

The chair to crib exchange -- He has fallen asleep. I wait until I think he's in a deep slumber before aiming to gracefully exit the rocker and make the exchange. It's kinda like Indiana Jones and the idol as I lower him into the crib: will he sleep through the shift in sleeping surface? Will he notice a temperature change? I put him down, hold my breath, and will him to sleep with my Jedi mind powers. Usually, the exchange goes smoothly. But sometimes, D will not be fooled. Not even by an Indiana Jones/Jedi combo. Smart kid.

An opportune time?

It's been awhile! December brought along with it the final few days of nesting, family functions galore, additional preparations for the nursery (still a work in progress) and -- most notably -- the birth of our dear son, D. Suffice to say, I've been rather busy!

But now, several weeks after D's birth, I'm hoping to get back into writing via this blog. I expect to share tidbits about my new role as a mom, reflections on daily life, musings on faith, and whatever else comes my way this year!

So, although this post is short, it's a start. And at 2 a.m.--while waiting for D to fall into a deep sleep -- this may just prove to be an opportune time to scribble down some thoughts ... as scattered as they may be these days. :)